Whore Tourist
Dear Mark & Co
Quite possibly the funniest thing I've read in ages!! keep up the good work. Looking forward to confirming or refuting the accuracy of your assesments as i will be travelling with a friend this weekend (I'm a Moscow virgin, he's been twice before)
Glenn Barnes
P.S any special recommendations for this weekend (25th march-)? Don't really want to pay for it
Dear Mr. Barnes,
We're so glad to be of service to you. Really, we sit around our offices all day waiting for American fans to ask us how they can get laid in Moscow. Well, here's our advice, here's how you can get laid here. Go to one of the fancy places like Osen' or Vogue Cafe. When you see a maximally hot babe sitting with some smartly-dressed businessman type, what that means is that the guy is looking to pawn off his girl to an American tourist like yourself. And for free too! It's considered an honor in Russia for well-dressed rich men to give their tall model babes to American tourists. But you have to play this right. What you have to do is go up to the guy while he's sitting in the corner, point to his girl, then say to the guy, "Hey, pidar, yob tvayu mat." What it means is, "I'm American, and I'd like to get to know your girlfriend." You'll instantly make friends, and the world of hot babes will be your oyster. Anything else we can do for you, just ask us, we'd be glad to help. Cuz that's what we're here for.
Я рыдаль!
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